Sunday, October 16, 2011

Ten Pounds Lighter Overnight!

Is this the latest diet secret? Perhaps.
I'm not promising the extra pounds will melt off,
but practicing this week's tip will increase your energy,
lighten your spirit, and could shed weight you're holding on to.

Have you ever considered the link between excess weight and holding a grudge?

Packing on pounds can be a form of protection, armour to keep hurt at bay.
That's the physical result.
Though the emotional reasons vary for unwanted pounds,
there is one core issue that's the same.
A lack of forgiveness.

Hanging on to a grudge is as much a false fortress from pain,
as a layer of fat.
Believe me, I know.
There were times when I topped the scales with an additional 60 pounds.
And no, I wasn't pregnant.
That was even higher.

I'm sharing this so you'll understand that I get it.
Did I have unresolved resentments?
Did clinging to grudges protect me from pain?

We all suffer.
Unless you're a hermit, you have people to forgive.
Our feelings get stepped on,
and our value gets pummeled at work, school, by family, lovers, children, and friends.
Sorry, we can't control the actions of others, only our reactions.
The choice that heals is forgiveness.

"Fine," you say. "I forgive the jerk that cut me off on the way to work. Done!"

Not so fast.
There's still negative energy in that statement,
and it harbors the belief that you're a victim.

Do you recall the lesson, that we're all doing the best we can for now?
It's sad, but the person who cut you off might be doing their best.
Perhaps their child is dying and they're on the way to the hospital.
Cut people some slack.
Grant those who hurt you that perpective.

Is it easy?
Of course not.
If it were simple, you would've all ready done it.

When we hold a grudge,
we're using that anger and resentment to build walls.
They are flimsy as protection goes.
Why do we need walls?
Because we believe we're under attack,
we're victims, weak and imobile.

We can accept that lie or adhere to the truth.

We're as powerful as we choose to be.
No one can hurt you, unless you give them permission.

It's self responsibility.
When we forgive, we don't need the facade of strength,
the extra pounds, and the surly attitude,
because we're grounded in real power.
We know we're in control.
When that knowledge is at our core,
we no longer need the defenses that fool no one, but ourselves.

We've all heard that diets don't work, not alone.
We need self love and confidence.
Forgiveness is the ultimate demonstration of both.

This week, list at least five people you need to forgive.
Call or write them,
explain calmly without judgement or blame what hurt you.
Ask them to appologize and then forgive them.
For egregious acts,
therapy may be in order before you tackle forgivness.
If so, give yourself this gift.

If the person is dead or it's unwise to make contact,
write the letter and then when all that anger is left on the page, burn it.
Have a ceremony, if you like,
releasing your resentment to be transformed into love and forgiveness.

You'll feel energized, your heart will sing,
and don't be surprised that making this a weekly practice will allow a few pounds to slip off.
You have the courage to do this.
I've seen it in your comments, and your love.

As a parting thought from Ghandi:

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

You are strong!

Please leave comments.
It's a tough lesson, but worth it.
And so are you.


  1. We're only weak if we think we are. If we feel strong, then we are. I subscribe to the Daily Motivator by Ralph Marston and he writes very positive affirmations that always move me, just like yours.
    Thank you.

  2. Forgiveness is the only path to true freedom. Thanks for so eloquently sharing how.

  3. Love your post. Forgiving others can change so many things in the world.

  4. You become what you believe yourself to be. If you always think of yourself as a victim, you rob yourself of the valuable lessons learned as a survivor. One title makes you weak, needy. The other, strong and respected.

  5. Thank you for this wonderful and eloquent post. It is so true how your state of mind and perceptions effect you both emotionally and physically. I don't know anyone who couldn't benefit from a little forgiveness.

  6. Very well said, Sandy. Forgiveness is the hardest thing in the world to give another. If it were easy, everyone would do it and there wouldn't be hard feelings around us. The world would be a happy place. We wouldn't learn from our pain.

  7. Carrying a grudge or holding on to resentment and hurt felings suck up so much time and energy. You are right, we need to let go and move on.

  8. Love this entry.. I truly appreciate your enthusiasm. Today you're my Monday morning cheerleader! Thanks Sandy!

  9. Fantastic blog. And soooo very true. I was told to never go to bed angry, perhaps because that weight won't let you sleep. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but you alone allow the pain in. Thanks Sandy :)

  10. Whew! What a power-packed tough-love lesson. But you're right. Think I'll check out Patti's recommendation for daily inspiration.