I knew a woman who said this often.
How rude, you say.
Yes, it was rude. She'd only say this in reference to herself.
What makes it sadder, the woman was a talented perfectionist.
Anything she did for others had to be her best effort.
She won awards for dolls she made. People stood in line to view her Christmas decorations.
And food, Oh my gosh!
She had her own TV cooking show for a while.
Did I mention she led her ladies church group, sewed beautiful clothes, raised five kids, and acted on stage and screen?
But when it came to herself, particularly her relationships, she made do.
Good enough was good enough for her.
If a friend forgot her birthday, she shrugged and went on.
When her husband gave her a plastic garbage can for their 35th wedding anniversary,
she didn't yell or have a fit, but she did cry.
Friends took advantage of her, and her husband, well, the garbage can says it all.
Most of her children never appreciated the sacrifices she made trying to hold the family together.
Is good enough really good enough?
Where in your life are your efforts only good enough?
It's great for take action and do something,
but we need to be sure we're doing the right things.
In respect to your goals, dreams, relationships, and your writing,
good enough is never good enough.
If this woman could have decided that her marriage wasn't good enough,
she might have gotten a divorce,
and freed up space for a loving, supportive man to come into her life.
This week, grab your journal,
and jot down three things you do or are involved in that aren't cutting it for you.
Next, write what you can do differently.
Be honest. If your child were subjected to this, would you stand for it?
If not, get a clue.
It's not good enough for you either.
Tackle one of these and journal your experience.
Doing your best feels good.
Deciding you deserve your best effort is healing.
No longer settling for good enough can change your life.
Comment, because you are good enough.
Man that is a sad story. It reminds me of a friend who scrimped and saved and bought her husband skies for Christmas and he got her a pen and pencil set. Nobody should live their whole life with that. Great blog.
ReplyDeleteI used to be that way. Then I started thinking I deserved more from my family and friends. Funny thing is, when I acted like I was worth something, they started treating me as worthwhile. People tend to accept your own assessment of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHow sad! I think a lot of women tend to give all their energy and best to their families and are too exhausted to care for themselves the way they should be - even after the kids are old enough to do for themselves. I know someone like this and I keep telling her she deserves better and she needs to think of herself for a change.
ReplyDeleteI understand, especially having kids, that I'm on auto-pilot when it comes to putting myself low on the totem pole. But I've learned to take care of myself and not always be "last". A happy mom is a better mom and if I treat myself nice I should be treated nice by others, right? Nice post, Sandy. Thank you.
ReplyDeletePatti
Gosh, I've just never felt this way about anything...I guess if something wasn't working for me, I just went to something else...and I do know women who stayed in marriages because they were clueless of what they would do out of the marriage...so sad!!! We're all worth it!!!
ReplyDelete*raises hand meekly* I give my all for my family. Thank God they do notice and appreciate my efforts most of the time. This Tuesday is my 28th wedding anniversary. Mitch knows what I'd do if he gave me a garbage can. He'd be living out of it! I can expect something nice that we most definitely cannot afford. But it won't be garbage. I feel sorry for that woman.
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago my New Years resolution was to have a "me" year. Best thing I ever did, and I liked who I became so much better, I've decided I'm worth a "decade." I learned a simple word "NO" - 2 letters having the power to lift the heavy yoke from my shoulders. People aren't sure how to handle the assertive, confident, and independent person I've become. Sounds like a personal problem to me. If my husband gave me a garbage can, he'd be stuffed inside and set at the curb!
ReplyDeleteI came here expecting to read something totally different. What good advice, though. It's important to remember to fight for ourselves, too.
ReplyDeleteAs a woman whose polio disability got the best of me for a while, I was just like that woman. I thought I didn't deserve better than I got--which as it turned out wasn't much.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that I was "disrespected" by family and friends, but certainly no one treated me as they had before I was seated in my scooter and I thought that was what I deserved--that's how disabled people are treated.
Then I found my polio support groups and they changed my life..literally.
I now believe self image plays a big role in how other people see and
treat you.
If your self image is low then other people will see YOU thru YOUR eyes and treat you accordingly.
It's been a hard row to hoe to turn my self image around, but so worth it.
marylou anderson
Mmmm. I'm going to have to think on this one. I think I may have too many things in my life right now that aren't good enough, but rest assured I will work through them to make them better. Thanks for the inspiration Sandy!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great thought. I need to clean out my drawers as well. I hang on to too many unnecessary things. I have to set them to the curb. I have no use for users but, because some are family, I purposely tend to overlook them. Naw - I've got to get me back from them.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sandy, Great Blog.
Thanks for your good words, I've been following for awhile and FYI I just changed my work situation. No more graveyards and weekends for me. I am standing up for myself and doing what works. Thanks for all of the loving support.
ReplyDeleteThanks to all of you for sharing your struggles with the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteIt helps me too.
You ladies are an inspiration!