This week we're tackling one of the most insidious reasons we put things off,
having the wrong goal.
Also known as, I don't want to do this, but I know I should.
Yes, the dreaded should.
You say you don't have anything like that lurking in your life.
Here is a list of typical should goals we procrastinate,
because we don't really want to do them:
Finding a new job
Finishing a manuscript
Pitching your work
Accepting a blind date
Confronting someone that hurt you.
The list could go on, but you get the idea.
These things are good for us.
So why don't we want to do them?
Here it comes, wait for it.
Yep. We weenie out because we're afraid.
We've told ourselves that our lives will change,
we'll find love, friends, success if we lose weight.
Fear lifts it's head and whispers, what if after all that struggle and sacrifice nothing changes?
Ah! Anxiety, heart palpitations, our breath choked off.
Calm down. We don't fear the action.
We're terrified we'll find out we're not enough.
Procrastination is a tool that keeps us from ever having to stand up to the panic tightening our chest and risk finding the truth.
No! Not that you're lacking, but that you're more than you ever realized.
That your parents, ex-lover, third grade teacher,
boss or that agent were wrong.
We're all learning and grow along the way. No one is perfect.
Perfect doesn't exist, not in this world, so get over it.
Tell those destructive voices in your head to shut up.
They tell you awful things that rip you to shreds and leave you bleeding,
and then they walk away.
How is this good for you?
I knew a man who as a child was told by his mother,
and siblings that he was stupid.
They tortured him verbally, teased him relentlessly,
and other things that make me ill.
After years of this, the boy's aptitude was tested in third grade.
The teacher called in his mother
and asked what they'd been doing to this boy.
He'd tested at the top ten percent,
but performed in class at the bottom ten.
As a boy, he believed the lies,
the abuse of his family that told him he was worthless.
It took him years to overcome the sick voices in his head.
He had to stop listening and replace them with the truth.
What is your truth?
It's not the negative thoughts you torture yourself with.
The truth of who you are is uplifting, positive, and supportive.
The truth propels you forward.
The truth doesn't demand you change,
but holds you up to your highest self.
And it doesn't say you're not enough.
The truth knows you're perfect as you are for now.
The truth knows you're learning, moving forward,
and loves you through it.
This week, make a list of three should goals you've procrastinated or struggled with.
Pick one, and write in your journal what the fear is attached to this goal.
Be specific. Writing that you're not enough isn't the root. Go deeper.
Not enough how?
That's the lie you've accepted.
Time to replace it with the truth.
Write something, maybe the opposite to replace it.
For the man, he replaced I'm stupid,
with I am intelligent and capable.
I am statements have power.
Words have power.
When you've written the truth,
do the same with the other shoulds on your list.
Catch yourself in a destructive thought,
say no, and replace it with the truth.
Yes, actually say, no.
Voice it. That adds strength.
As a man thinketh so is he.
Stand up for yourself.
The man learned to re-parent his little boy and you can too.
Think or say the truth five times when a lie shows up.
The more you do this, the less the lies will form.
The truth will sprout, grow in your life, and bare sweet fruit.
You'll find procrastination dissolving,
and doing the things that are good for you second nature.
Accept the truth of all the good that is you.
You're a gift, a glorious, amazing gift.
And the truth shall set you free.
Love to hear from you.