No Peas For Me, Thankyou.

The most obvious reason we put things off is we hate doing them.
Imagine that, and all this time I thought it was a poor work ethic that kept me from scrubbing the shower.

There are tasks we all must do, but not many fall under that category.
Most dirty jobs can be delegated, simplified or hired out.

The shower needs cleaning, but am I the only one who can do it?
Could I pay someone?
I deserve a clean shower.
And I deserve to delegate or pay someone to do the jobs I hate.

 Questions to ask:
Does this really need to be done?
Does it have to be done by me?

Often the answer to both is no.
We've gotten into the habit of handling things ourselves.
We think it's our duty.
That we should load the dishwasher, scrub the floor, make those calls, etc....
Women are like that. We have trouble delegating.
Sorry, but it's true.
Men are better at this.

Do you suffer from a parental voice in your head telling you to eat your peas like a good girl,
but you hate peas?
Worse--
Do you then stuff a few of the offensive green orbs into your mouth and gag before you swallow?

Okay, I happen to like peas.
But where in your life are you choking on things you hate?

Is it scrubbing the shower, the manuscript you need to edit, or confronting a relative?

Stop!

Not another figurative pea passes your sultry lips.
Own up to what you dislike doing and stop swallowing it down.

Mom is no longer standing at your side prodding you to eat your veggies or there will be no dessert.
You're a grown up.
You can have chocolate cake for breakfast if you want.
I like mine with ice cream.
Smile.

Stop procrastinating. Don't glare at the peas as if they're bad.
They're just peas.
Feed them to the dog, toss them in the trash or give them to your sister who loves peas.
You have choices.

Continuing to do what you hate, when you have the power to delegate, pay someone, or just decide the task isn't worth doing at all, is self abuse.
Most people don't enjoy pain.
If you hate peas, stop eating them.

Stop making your life miserable by doing the things you despise.

This week, take your journal and jot down three things you procrastinate,
because you find the task unpleasant.
Okay, no procrastinating the list.

Have the list?
Now come up with three ways to handle the job without you doing it.
Excellent!

Put at least one of these into action this week.
Write how you feel.
More powerful?
In control?
I hope not guilty.
You are not bad for disliking peas.

Let me know how you do.
Comments always welcome.




















I

Good Enough For Who It's For.

I knew a woman who said this often.
How rude, you say.
Yes, it was rude. She'd only say this in reference to herself.

What makes it sadder, the woman was a talented perfectionist.
Anything she did for others had to be her best effort.
She won awards for dolls she made. People stood in line to view her Christmas decorations.
And food, Oh my gosh!
She had her own TV cooking show for a while.
Did I mention she led her ladies church group, sewed beautiful clothes, raised five kids, and acted on stage and screen?

But when it came to herself, particularly her relationships, she made do.
Good enough was good enough for her.
If a friend forgot her birthday, she shrugged and went on.
When her husband gave her a plastic garbage can for their 35th wedding anniversary,
she didn't yell or have a fit, but she did cry.
Friends took advantage of her, and her husband, well, the garbage can says it all.
Most of her children never appreciated the sacrifices she made trying to hold the family together.

Is good enough really good enough?

Where in your life are your efforts only good enough?
It's great for take action and do something,
but we need to be sure we're doing the right things.
In respect to your goals, dreams, relationships, and your writing,
good enough is never good enough.

If this woman could have decided that her marriage wasn't good enough,
she might have gotten a divorce,
and freed up space for a loving, supportive man to come into her life.

This week, grab your journal,
and jot down three things you do or are involved in that aren't cutting it for you.
Next, write what you can do differently.
Be honest. If your child were subjected to this, would you stand for it?
If not, get a clue.
It's not good enough for you either.

Tackle one of these and journal your experience.

Doing your best feels good.
Deciding you deserve your best effort is healing.
No longer settling for good enough can change your life.

Comment, because you are good enough.