Treading Water Is For Fishes.

Some time ago I had a disturbing dream.
You know the kind.
I'm in the ocean with no help in sight.
I'd tread water for hours unable to decide which direction to take.
What was the shortest distance to land?
Were their sharks in one direction and rip tides in another?
I made no progress because I feared making the wrong choice.

Inspiration hit.

Any direction is preferable to floating around going no where.
I said, "Duh!"
Really.

The only wrong choice was no choice.
Acting a coward and fear of messing up had immobilized me.

Not good.

Intuition whispered each direction brought me to a different place,
with different lessons along the way.
None were wrong.

Of course I know this, but I needed reminding.
I needed to commit and move in that direction.
Action.

This dream came when I struggled to define my self as a writer.
What genre?
Novel length or novella?
The point was to choose something and go for it.
Swim my guts out in that direction and
if it didn't work out, choose again.

Isn't life grand?
We have a myriad of choices at any moment.
We are in control and can change our minds.
But we have to start.

If I did nothing but continue to tread water, what would happen?
In time I'd tire and sink like a stone.
I'd become fish food and no one would know I'd ever tried anything.
I would have failed my self and the world.

I know that sounds harsh,
but we are each unique and bring with us remarkable gifts.
Only you can write your story.
Only you can be that needed friend and love the way you do.

You are a blessing.
It's time to swim and bring your special talents to the shore.

Take out your journal and answer these questions:


Where in your life are you treading water?
Take time to answer this in at least three areas.

What has you afraid? Why?

If you continue to float aimlessly what will happen?

Is that better than taking the risk, committing to a direction and swimming hard?

What is your gut telling you?

Tackle the first of the three areas this week.
It's all right to be afraid, but act.

You can do it!

Please share your wisdom with the rest of us.

Ran out of gas

Ah, a luxurious bubble bath, scented candles flicker,
relaxing music in the back ground,
and you float on a cloud of lavender scented warmth.
You sink deeper into the water and let the heat caress your flesh like a lover.
You sigh. Tired muscles unwind, your spirit rejoices as peace seeps into your bones.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

You bolt upright, tranquility shattered along with your nerves.

Pound. Pound.
"Hey mom, are you done yet? I need to pee."

Sound familiar?

We all need time off, our own space, and we need to treat it as sacred.

Because it is.

What does that mean?
Sacred is anything set apart from the usual or ordinary in life.
Sacred time doesn't allow the mundane to insert itself and overtake it.
Your emotional, mental and physical health depend on your achieving sacred time for yourself.
It's not negotiable.

What qualifies as sacred time?
Anything that centers on you, feeds your soul, rejuvenates your mind and body.

It can take many forms:

A walk around the block.
Reading a good book.
Writing in your journal.
Meditation.
A massage.
Playing with the dog.
Lunch with friends.
Attending your writer meetings.

It's time set aside to honor the unique gift you are to the world.
Don't roll your eyes.
You are a gift.
Stop ignoring the box, unwrap the darn thing and enjoy it.

Look at it this way, you put gas in your car, change the oil, get a tune up.
Doing those things doesn't make you hang your head in shame and feel guilty.
Filling the gas tank so you can pick up the kids from school doesn't cause remorse.

Of course not.

Sacred time for yourself is the same thing.
You're like a car and require regular maintenance to keep running.
Most of us ignore this until we break down.
Didn't your mother tell you to take care of your things?

If you never put oil in the engine you'll burn up the motor.
Sitting on the side of the road with an empty gas tank doesn't help anyone.
Yet, we expect our selves to push forward,
never filling our tank or oil or changing the spark plugs.

Does this make any sense?
A well oiled machine runs smoothly and years longer than one that's neglected.
You can't help anyone if your battery is dead.


This week, write five things in your journal that fill your tank.
Do them.
Schedule time at least once a week to take part in these activities.
Do not allow other things to intrude.
Sacred time is not to be flouted.

Write down how doing these things makes you feel.
If you come up with more than five things, great, go for ten.
It's terrific if you schedule three times a week seeing to your maintenance.
And it is maintenance.

As always, let me know how you do.

But I'm a nice person!

I  adored my grandmother. She was sweet, patient, and suffered in silence as she tended her mother through cancer, put up with a physically abusive husband, and cared for a mentally disabled son. That would seem to be enough on any persons plate, but no. Grandma drove the elderly to the store and doctor appointments. She cheerfully babysat for single mothers. If someone was in need, she served, and somehow found time to sew quilts for charity.

You might think this woman was a miracle. I know, I thought she was. She had many friends and everyone loved her. But when she lay dying in the hospital well past age 80, with tears in her soft blue eyes, she whispered, "I've wasted it. I've wasted my life."

How can that be? Grandma made a difference. And she did! I don't know what would have become of me and my siblings if not for her love and stable influence. Where had she failed?

She'd given her life away to others and never lived one moment for herself.
Not one dream.
How had the years slipped by without creating something for herself?

Grandma had the habit of saying yes when asked.

The woman had regrets.
 Not for what she'd done, but for what she'd left undone.
She'd said yes to everyone, but herself.

This week, we stop the habit of saying yes.
People will still like you. And if they don't, you don't need them in your life.

For one week, when possible, say no to requests.
Sorry, but you still need to feed the two year old when he asks.
For the rest, the answer is no.
Without explanation, excuse or justification.

Service is good, but loosing yourself and being used is not.
Poor planning on some one's part does not constitute an emergency on yours.
Let others take care of their responsibilities or get another yes addict.
You're in recovery.

Just say NO!
 "No, thank you." Also good.
Repeat if needed and don't justify.

If you can't make yourself do that, then answer them with,  "I'll have to think about it."
Giving yourself time, breaks the habit and gives them the chance of finding another sucker.
I have been such a sucker and I'm over it.
Life is better.

This week, stand up for your dreams and your life.
No one else will.
Don't end up at age 80 feeling you've wasted the gift of living YOUR life.

Write down your progress and feelings in your journal.
Who is pushy?
Who makes you angry?
Who is difficult to deny?
Why?

"Life is a banquet, and most poor fools are starving to death."
                                                                              Mame