And You Call That A Friend?

You're sitting at lunch with a friend you've known for years. She's complaining about her family, her husband, her job or lack of one. This friend rattles on and on through lunch giving you time to grunt when she pauses to take a breath. When the bill comes, she throws a few dollars on the table and says she's got to run. You leave feeling used and drained.

Guess what--you're right.
You were used and drained of energy.

As you can see, this week we're covering relationships. How often do we waist time with people that suck the life out of us, because we feel it's our duty, or out of habit or proximity without getting much in return? I've done my share of suffering through such friendships.  Ugh! I'm over it.

Life is too short to spend it with people who don't value you, are self involved or wear you out. Do any names or faces come to mind? We all have friends or belong to groups that, either no longer serve us because we've grown, or they treat us with disregard and indifference. Who needs it? Not you!

People change. Chances are, if the relationship isn't serving you, it isn't doing much for your friend either. Let it go. There's no need to make a big deal about it, just spend less time with them and allow the connection to fade naturally.  You don't have to have a big talk. This is not high school. No drama needed. You're an adult, and people come and go in our lives.

It's okay.

There are relationships that need some honest conversation to mend. If this feels like the case, and you want to invest further, by all means, go for it. State what bothers you calmly without blame. If the friendship is strong, you may come to an understanding. If it doesn't work out, let it go and know you tried. No hard feelings.

If you've been diligently working  on the coaching lessons, it's likely you'll be letting go of some old friends, a critique group or partner. Make room for relationships that inspire you and aid you in the creation of your dreams. Remember, the universe abhors a vacuum. Make room, and watch for the good that will fill it.

This week, make a list in your journal of people and groups that suck you dry. Decide how to handle each case. Let them slowly fade or talk it out. Notice how you feel about ending these connections and why. Write about it and then act. Even a bad relationship ending brings a feeling of loss. Let your self feel it. Write what you'll miss or what you wished for that didn't exist. Be real and honest in your journal.

You have to be your own best friend first.