Batten Down The Hatches!

One down and New Years to go.
The holidays are a gift.
That's what I tell my self as my husband is at work this Christmas morning,
and my daughter has been up with food poisoning since three a.m.
Not my doing, we'd gone out.
A mother's sigh of relief.

On the brighter side, my husband will be home tonight, my son will arrive,
and I have plenty of clear liquids to pour into our youngest child. (Age 25)
It brings me to this point:
What matters?

Emotions run high, endless demands on time, money,
and family strains leave us frazzled.
Now that the gifts have been opened
and the New Year dawns, reflect on what brought joy?

Holidays bring us closer to family, friends, and ourselves.
We are forced to look at what works in our lives, what doesn't,
and what we've avoided and swear we'll never do again.

It's the pressure.

Relationships come to the fore, we become aware of who we love,
where we're done, and what we want.
Take advantage of the awareness.
Write it all down in your journal.

But this time, instead of stuffing the truth,
behind aunt Sara's fruit cake in your memories, do something.

Do more in your life of what you enjoyed this season,
and less of what you endured.

Re-evaluate your career, relationships,
your personal growth and joy.
Be honest.

Can you improve on them?
Are you willing to do the work?
Or like the gift wrap strewn on the floor after presents are opened,
is it time to clean up the mess and take out the trash?
Only you can decide.

Be active.
Choose a course, captain you ship of life, and cast off for open seas.
It's tough to set sail with your hull leaking and a broken a mast.
Take inventory, load supplies, and get on with the the voyage of living.

Don't fix what's not broken.
Repair what needs it, and what can't be fixed, toss and replace.
It takes time, but give yourself a deadline.

Your ship can't conquer new worlds sitting in dry dock.
Get your life back in the water,
catch the wind and put out to sea.
Write your dates for accomplishment.
You can always adjust them.

Act.

When we do nothing, nothing happens.

Take this opportunity to patch those holes in your sails,
and replace your rutter ready to embark on the greatest adventure--living.

But I'm a nice person!

I  adored my grandmother. She was sweet, patient, and suffered in silence as she tended her mother through cancer, put up with a physically abusive husband, and cared for a mentally disabled son. That would seem to be enough on any persons plate, but no. Grandma drove the elderly to the store and doctor appointments. She cheerfully babysat for single mothers. If someone was in need, she served, and somehow found time to sew quilts for charity.

You might think this woman was a miracle. I know, I thought she was. She had many friends and everyone loved her. But when she lay dying in the hospital well past age 80, with tears in her soft blue eyes, she whispered, "I've wasted it. I've wasted my life."

How can that be? Grandma made a difference. And she did! I don't know what would have become of me and my siblings if not for her love and stable influence. Where had she failed?

She'd given her life away to others and never lived one moment for herself.
Not one dream.
How had the years slipped by without creating something for herself?

Grandma had the habit of saying yes when asked.

The woman had regrets.
 Not for what she'd done, but for what she'd left undone.
She'd said yes to everyone, but herself.

This week, we stop the habit of saying yes.
People will still like you. And if they don't, you don't need them in your life.

For one week, when possible, say no to requests.
Sorry, but you still need to feed the two year old when he asks.
For the rest, the answer is no.
Without explanation, excuse or justification.

Service is good, but loosing yourself and being used is not.
Poor planning on some one's part does not constitute an emergency on yours.
Let others take care of their responsibilities or get another yes addict.
You're in recovery.

Just say NO!
 "No, thank you." Also good.
Repeat if needed and don't justify.

If you can't make yourself do that, then answer them with,  "I'll have to think about it."
Giving yourself time, breaks the habit and gives them the chance of finding another sucker.
I have been such a sucker and I'm over it.
Life is better.

This week, stand up for your dreams and your life.
No one else will.
Don't end up at age 80 feeling you've wasted the gift of living YOUR life.

Write down your progress and feelings in your journal.
Who is pushy?
Who makes you angry?
Who is difficult to deny?
Why?

"Life is a banquet, and most poor fools are starving to death."
                                                                              Mame