Batten Down The Hatches!

One down and New Years to go.
The holidays are a gift.
That's what I tell my self as my husband is at work this Christmas morning,
and my daughter has been up with food poisoning since three a.m.
Not my doing, we'd gone out.
A mother's sigh of relief.

On the brighter side, my husband will be home tonight, my son will arrive,
and I have plenty of clear liquids to pour into our youngest child. (Age 25)
It brings me to this point:
What matters?

Emotions run high, endless demands on time, money,
and family strains leave us frazzled.
Now that the gifts have been opened
and the New Year dawns, reflect on what brought joy?

Holidays bring us closer to family, friends, and ourselves.
We are forced to look at what works in our lives, what doesn't,
and what we've avoided and swear we'll never do again.

It's the pressure.

Relationships come to the fore, we become aware of who we love,
where we're done, and what we want.
Take advantage of the awareness.
Write it all down in your journal.

But this time, instead of stuffing the truth,
behind aunt Sara's fruit cake in your memories, do something.

Do more in your life of what you enjoyed this season,
and less of what you endured.

Re-evaluate your career, relationships,
your personal growth and joy.
Be honest.

Can you improve on them?
Are you willing to do the work?
Or like the gift wrap strewn on the floor after presents are opened,
is it time to clean up the mess and take out the trash?
Only you can decide.

Be active.
Choose a course, captain you ship of life, and cast off for open seas.
It's tough to set sail with your hull leaking and a broken a mast.
Take inventory, load supplies, and get on with the the voyage of living.

Don't fix what's not broken.
Repair what needs it, and what can't be fixed, toss and replace.
It takes time, but give yourself a deadline.

Your ship can't conquer new worlds sitting in dry dock.
Get your life back in the water,
catch the wind and put out to sea.
Write your dates for accomplishment.
You can always adjust them.

Act.

When we do nothing, nothing happens.

Take this opportunity to patch those holes in your sails,
and replace your rutter ready to embark on the greatest adventure--living.

It's Just A Job.

If you've followed this blog,
you're armed with a list of your values.
This week we're going to find what work allows you to live them.

Many of us are writers.
I applaud you for owning your passion.
But what about the rest of the values on your list?
Does writing or your current occupation implement
all that sends your spirit soaring?
Not likely.

Life is multifaceted.
So are we.

Life is best when we fully express who we are.

Imagine your current employment has disappeared
requiring you do something totally different.

Do I hear grumbling?
Loosen up and enjoy the process.
This is an opportunity to learn about your nature and desires.

Take your journal and jot five alternate careers inspired from last weeks list of values.
What? You didn't do last weeks lesson.

No problem.

If you don't have your list,
I'll stand by while you read the previous post,
do the assignment and return ready for action.

Ready with your values?
Excellent!

Based on your values write five career choices in your journal.
They can be anything that fills you.
Don't edit.
No dis-qualifiers based on your current job, your age, lack of experience or funds.
Are you excited to let your imagination run free?

Let her loose!

Once you have your list of five, do you see any similarities in your choices?

True Example:

A scientist. He's good at his job, but unsatisfied.

He makes a list based on what he values:

Painter
Interior designer
photography
graphic artist
floral designer

When this gentleman viewed his choices, it surprised him.
No wonder he felt stuck in a life alien to him.
His creativity was unexplored.
It didn't feed his soul.

He made a change.
We all can.

Start small taking baby steps.
First, he bought art supplies.
He didn't paint, just had supplies.
Next week he signed up for a class.
Then, he began to dabble.

A year later he sold his first painting.
He kept his day job, but his life had changed, and become fulfilling.
All because he included value in his life.

When he retires in a few years,
he plans a trip to Paris and make painting his career.

He's happier having embraced his value of creating beauty.

With the New Year upon us,
this is an excellent time to make a resolution. 
What action will you take to instill value in your work
or move to a new career?

Make a note of at least one action.
Place it where you'll see it for motivation.

No guilt.
You're busy, these actions should bring you joy.
If they feel burdensome,
you don't have a value, you have a should.

Each week, add a new action that brings you closer to your authentic self.
What ever you choose--Do It.

Feel the energy flow into you, the joy, and love for life.
As you fill yourself, you fill others.
You're a gift and your talents bless the world.

Express them.

I applaud your courage and efforts to stand firm in your values.
I am blessed by your example.

Are You Empty Or full?

I'm not referring to your stomach stuffed with the splendor of holiday fare.
This is deeper.
What is the condition of your life?

We're talking full-fill-ment.

How full are you in your career?
Does it chip away at your spirit day by day
or rush over you in joyful torrents of worth?

Few of us experience the latter.
Why?

It could be we haven't recognized what we value and love doing.

We go about life doing what we should,
must, what others tell us matters,
and in the process neglect to live.

Living is beyond mundane existence.

Time to ask your self a few questions:

When do you feel alive?
When energy and excitement thrum through your veins, what are you doing?
When a spark of light ignites your mind, what are you up to?
Reflect on this for a moment.

Get your journal, and write the circumstances,
and experiences where you felt fulfilled and alive.
What pivotal moments and highlights rocked you?
Write them down.
Own them.
Go for ten, but at least five.

Do you have them?
Good!
Congratulations on courageously knowing another part of you.

Beside each, jot why it was important to you.
I'll wait.

Next, pen the value it expresses.
By value, I refer to what fills you.
Knowing what lifts and feeds you,
is the first step in creating work and a life you love.

Write your top five values.

It might look something like this:

Being in nature
Connecting with friends
Learning
Travel
Peace

There is no should or wrong way to do this.
It's your list.

This week, look for ways to incorporate what you value into your life.
 For me, this is time in meditation, reading, writing this blog, among other joys.
Doing what you value is a sign of self worth.
Sadly, not taking part in these activities is a sign of self lack.

You are valuable!

Small actions bring big results.
You are a gift.
Life is the means of expressing that gift in the world.

Live.

Keep this list,
because we're going to build on it next week.

Thank you for taking part in your life,
your future, and making the world whole through your wholeness.

Who Do You Think You Are, Anyway?

My mom would follow that up with, the queen of Sheba.

Most of us aren't what we seem.
We're liars, fakers, con artists and impostors.
Not because we pretend to be the queen of Sheba
or some other high-toned, fancy pants.

No. We're liars of the worst sort.
We stubbornly believe that we're less.
 If someone gives a compliment, we discount it.
We feel undeserving of the good that comes our way.

How do you know if you take part in self loathing?
Take a look at your life.
Get your journal out and prepare to write.
Answer these questions--honestly.

What are your dreams?
 Relationship, career, family, whatever it is jot it on the page.
Don't edit.
Dreams are supposed to be big. Allow.

Have you reached them?
Answer for each desire you wrote down.

This is either a yes or no.
Actively moving toward a dream counts as a yes.
Thinking about it for three years is a no.
Sorry. Only Action counts.

There's one reason for falling short of those desires.

Drum roll.

You.

Damn. Don't you hate that?
It's not how your family treated you as a kid.
It's not the loser boyfriend or the petulant boss,
or that you have health issues that make you gain weight.
These may be obstacles,
but they rarely keep you from achieving your dreams.

Only you have that power.

And you do have power.
What you are willing to accept comes from a deep place
where you decide what you deserve.

What are you worth?

Answer that question in your journal,
but as you pen the words also say them out loud.
Is it difficult?
Can you say:

I'm lovable.
I am beautiful.
I am a New York Times best selling novelist.

The more resistance you feel,
the more you don't believe you deserve these things.
If you don't believe you deserve them,
you will sabotage your efforts.

I was visiting with two women recently.
They both want to be married and have a family.
It hasn't happened.
I told them they will accept the degree of love,
success, and supportive relationships
as they are willing to give themselves.

What was their response?

"I'm screwed."

I wish I were making this up.
At that moment they acknowledged a profound lack of self love.
Their homework was to treat themselves as if.


As if they were lovable.
As if they were (insert your dream).
We can all benefit from this.

If I loved my self I would....

Write the answers in your journal.
Take as long as you like.

Here's the fun part.
Live that way.
Do those things.
It will change you.
Action transforms.
Thought alone won't do it.

Why bother?

Because you are a gift to the world.
You are worth it.
You are lovable.
And you can't give what you don't possess--even to yourself. 


I want you to receive all your dreams.
You wouldn't have them if they weren't possible.
Your subconscious envisions the truth.
It's possible, if you decide that you deserve it.

Let me know how this goes.
How does it make you feel?
I support you in your best self.
The one inside that you deny.
You are amazing!