My mom would follow that up with, the queen of Sheba.
Most of us aren't what we seem.
We're liars, fakers, con artists and impostors.
Not because we pretend to be the queen of Sheba
or some other high-toned, fancy pants.
No. We're liars of the worst sort.
We stubbornly believe that we're less.
If someone gives a compliment, we discount it.
We feel undeserving of the good that comes our way.
How do you know if you take part in self loathing?
Take a look at your life.
Get your journal out and prepare to write.
Answer these questions--honestly.
What are your dreams?
Relationship, career, family, whatever it is jot it on the page.
Dreams are supposed to be big. Allow.
Have you reached them?
Answer for each desire you wrote down.
This is either a yes or no.
Actively moving toward a dream counts as a yes.
Thinking about it for three years is a no.
Sorry. Only Action counts.
There's one reason for falling short of those desires.
Damn. Don't you hate that?
It's not how your family treated you as a kid.
It's not the loser boyfriend or the petulant boss,
or that you have health issues that make you gain weight.
These may be obstacles,
but they rarely keep you from achieving your dreams.
Only you have that power.
And you do have power.
What you are willing to accept comes from a deep place
where you decide what you deserve.
What are you worth?
Answer that question in your journal,
but as you pen the words also say them out loud.
Is it difficult?
Can you say:
I am beautiful.
I am a New York Times best selling novelist.
The more resistance you feel,
the more you don't believe you deserve these things.
If you don't believe you deserve them,
you will sabotage your efforts.
I was visiting with two women recently.
They both want to be married and have a family.
It hasn't happened.
I told them they will accept the degree of love,
success, and supportive relationships
as they are willing to give themselves.
What was their response?
I wish I were making this up.
At that moment they acknowledged a profound lack of self love.
Their homework was to treat themselves as if.
As if they were lovable.
As if they were (insert your dream).
We can all benefit from this.
If I loved my self I would....
Write the answers in your journal.
Take as long as you like.
Here's the fun part.
Live that way.
Do those things.
It will change you.
Thought alone won't do it.
Because you are a gift to the world.
You are worth it.
You are lovable.
And you can't give what you don't possess--even to yourself.
I want you to receive all your dreams.
You wouldn't have them if they weren't possible.
Your subconscious envisions the truth.
It's possible, if you decide that you deserve it.
Let me know how this goes.
How does it make you feel?
I support you in your best self.
The one inside that you deny.
You are amazing!