We are all judged on how we look and act. I did an experiment at the shopping mall some years back, showing up in jeans, T-shirt and no make-up. I looked clean, but poor. I got zero attention from the store staff. No one would help me. I was invisible. The next day, I went to the same stores dressed in my business clothes, and looking well turned out. When I walked in, I had more sales help than needed and they were incredibly accommodating. I'm not saying that I agree with the superficial nature of humanity, but it exists.
People look first and ask questions later. If you swear like a sailor, people will have an impression of you. If you borrow things and never return them, people will size you up on that. What you do determines how you will be seen and treated by others.
How do you wish to be percieved? Are you serious about your career? Then act like someone who is a success. If you say, "This is who I am and they can take it or leave it. I don't give a damn." That's not personal freedom, it's a self destructive lie.
We all care.
It's not enough to set boundaries for others, it's time to set standards for your self. This is not about all the shoulds. We're talking integrity. The higher the level you live at, the higher the level of your life. Some examples of integrity:
Tell the truth.
Be on time.
Admit your mistakes.
Honor your responsibilities by following through.
Take care of your body.
Give positive feedback.
Be grateful and stop complaining.
Stop talking and act.
Give to those in need.
Only spend time with those who treat you well.
Make your own list of five. What do you feel ready to implement? This will scare you a bit. If it feels comfortable, pick something else. I'll be working on being more honest with my self and speaking that truth. Easy to do with strangers, harder to do with those I love. If it feels like a risk, do it.
Make your journal your partner in this. Write down your list, your efforts, feelings and how things change.
Plan on implementing these changes for at least six weeks so they become good habits.
When one becomes second nature, move on to a new one.
Let me know how you do.
You deserve to be the person that is trustworthy, dependable, and loved.